a struggle to survive.

      Alas, I still struggle...

      I've hit my boulder hard this week, but I can't give up. It's too soon and there is no giving up in this battle...

      My days will be filled with no more debacle and no more of this nonsense of not knowing. It's a struggle to survive when you attempt to surface from your mind's mindless numbness, to keep from drowning. I'm not going to stop trying though. I've got to keep going. I've got to...and I may have to stick to my quietness for a little while longer and just kick it with myself. It's just that I've spent so long in a bubble, it's difficult to want to stay in it any longer, so I have to escape the bubble and begin a brand new journey in my own shoes; a private journey down a private path that stretches through a summer wood, with highlights of soft light. A path that leads to somewhere open...a field of ease or ocean of clarity...

    And I can do it.

   To get there, I just have to breathe...

     This is a photo I took awhile back. I find that besides music, things like flowers and nature and taking walks tend to give me peace. I find something therapeutic about the breezes or delicate petals of a bloom and being able to take it all in. Also, if I can get past getting too consumed with all kinds of memories, being really focused and organizing and cleaning things tends to make me feel better.


and I thank God for these wonderful creations...