Advantages

     I once read in an online article about a woman who had a major weight dilemma. She had weighed 382 pounds and struggled with her weight her entire life. This woman always carried around in her purse a single slip of paper, on which a doctor had scribbled down four steps to help her lose the weight.

  The steps that were listed on that slip of paper looked as follows:

1. Eat 8 ounces of food every 3 hours

2. Don't drink sugary drinks

3. Don't skip meals

4. Don't tell anyone what you're doing

     The woman had kept that slip of paper for a long time and put her weightloss off. Finally the time came where she found herself in a "do or die" situation and felt more compelled and more determined than ever. She lost 232 pounds...

     I feel like that time for me is now. I feel like I actually mean it this time. I'm going to lose the weight. I'm going to follow these steps, and try to walk my 2-mile walk as much as possible, and get to the point where I can run atleast a 5k, without stopping.  I have many wishes and reasons for losing the weight, even some that whittle down to the simple selfishness of wanting to be able to rock a pair of straight-leg skinny jeans.

   When I say "losing the weight" or any variations of the phrase, what exactly do I mean? Well, I have found that in order to lose weight, you must lose other weight first. I have struggled with my weight problem for a long, long time. The reason why I was never successful before is that I always had a mental block of unbelief. I didn't believe in myself, didn't believe I could do it, and I didn't believe in my reasonings. I am learning to lift this barrier everyday. I am learning to remember that no matter how much negativity there is, there is always a much greater surplus of positivity. It's just a matter of looking into it...

     The photograph above is one of me from when I was just a little girl. I imagine it was taken at either the Cub Foods or Rainbow grocery store. My mother would try to get me to be that adorable poster child because I had the potential, but I was too quiet and shy. I have found hidden meaning in this interestingly lucid picture. I use this as the cover photo on my Facebook timeline... It makes me think how often in my life people have believed in me, had so much, SO MUCH faith in me, and no matter how grateful I was for them and their invested confidence, it really didn't do much good, because I didn't believe in myself, thus my brain created fallacies about how those people were all an illusion. I still can struggle with this from day to day and it tends to fuel my undiagnosed depression and my deep sadness. I think that because I have learned this about myself, I am at an ample advantage.


-hrd.