beyond numbers and science alone.

       Some Sundays ago, I wanted to end it. I wanted to give up more than ever. I felt that I would feel okay just to end it right there, as I lay on the cream-colored carpet in my bedroom. I wanted to be a child again as I looked up and out of the window at the skies and trees; invoking and provoking my past. After some tears, I realized I needed to find someone to share my struggles with. I needed to tell someone; some person. While I still haven't shared, I have persevered once again; for once and forever.
       A few days ago, I was practicing driving in a school parking lot. I saw this lady speed walking around the grounds and I realized I'd seen her there before exercising. As I veered my vehicle past her, I noticed that she was way too skinny. It made me get distracted from my task. She had a weight problem like me, only in a different form. I wanted to know what had lead her to be that thin. Had she looked upon too many airbrushed magazine photos? Did someone call her "ugly" or "fat"? Did no one ever tell her she's beautiful just because? Or did she not even realize herself that she was underweight?
      I feel that there's a reason for the weight problem. It's beyond numbers and science alone. I think people can subconsciously not recognize that if you are battling a weight problem or image issue, there are many other underlying issues and problems associated with it, perhaps even stemming the pandemonium inside the heart, brain, mind, body, and soul. And ultimately, if you are battling a war with and inside yourself, you may forget that you aren't alone in the fight.

Oh, remember...
you are not alone in this.


-hrd.